Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Lillian's Birth Story
I cried out loud, "Kevin! Kevin, Honey. My water broke."
It was 5:30 a.m. in the morning on a Saturday and Kevin rushed to find me with a handful of towels.
We sat on the top of the steps in our old home, adrenaline pumping, assessing our next steps.
"Well sweetie, let's get back to sleep. We still could have some time before the contractions start and you need to conserve your energy," Kevin said, confidently.
Kevin and I took a 12-week course on the Bradley Birthing Method, also known as Husband-Coached Childbirth. In this class, we learned all about proper nutrition, anatomy, pregnancy, baby development, effective relaxation techniques, exercises to prepare the body for labor, labor positions, breastfeeding and post-natal care. The premise of the birthing method is the importance of a natural birth because it can be healthier for the baby, mother, and father and is one of the best ways to experience the process. We personally liked the method because it allows Kevin to be a crucial part of the birthing process and takes out the fear that so many people have about having a baby by providing extensive education and training.
"Anything yet?" Kevin asked around 8:30 a.m. as we slowly woke up again.
I turned over to look at him in the face, which is quite an accomplishment at 9 1/2 months pregnant.
"I'm actually having a contraction, now," I replied, as I closed my eyes and told my body to relax.
Kevin pulled out his stop watch and started timing the contraction. From the start of the first contraction to the beginning of the second. This went on for 6 hours until the contractions were 5 minutes apart. At this point, we called the midwives. We chose to have a midwife do the labor because of our dedication to the natural birthing process. At the free standing midwife center, they are Registered Nurses, but they are unable to administer pain medication.
We jumped in the car and went over to the center, one of the only free-standing birthing centers in Connecticut and only about 5 minutes from our house.
They looked at the positioning of the baby, her vitals, and checked to make sure how far along I was in the labor process. They recommended that I go home and come back when I was a bit further along.
When I was contracting at 3-4 minutes apart at home, we gave the midwives another call. One of my tests came back positive for an infection in my bladder and they were concerned about the baby since my water had broken early that morning. They recommended having us give birth at the hospital instead of the center. Kevin and I were disappointed that the birth wasn't going as we planned, but agreed that they know what is best for our little girl.
We rushed to the hospital around 6:00 p.m. and since it was going to take a little time to get us checked in, they put us in a waiting room. It was horrible! Gross lighting, old hospital beds, weird machines and crazy smells. I went into a panic attack. I always envisioned giving birth in a beautiful place, naturally, and this room was anything but that. Kevin calmed me down, but in the process of becoming upset, the labor slowed down significantly.
As we entered the birthing room, we were in awe. It was beautiful. There were floor to ceiling windows, a sunset, and a huge birthing tub. Kevin and I set up our things and got into the zone. We danced, squatted, and walked around in the shower to get things moving. During a contraction, we focused on relaxation. Kevin had a tennis ball that he used to massage my lower back (one of the areas in the most pain during contractions as the baby moves down the spine). 12 hours later, I was still only 4-5 minutes apart and because of the infection, the midwives suggested a small shot of a labor inducing drug to get the labor moving. We struggled a bit with the decision, but after 24 hours of being in labor, knew that they were right in their assessment of the situation, but refused the pain medication to keep with our original natural birthing plan.
"You can do this, you are doing an amazing job," Kevin said peacefully as I let out a high pitched groan. He rubbed my lower back as I held onto a bar in the shower. "Relax. Lower the pitch of your groan, as it will help your breathing. Picture your cervix opening like a flower (an inside joke from our birthing class). Let your body do what it was made to do. Like a wave taking you closer to the shore. Take the contractions one at a time. You got this."
The next 12 hours were a blur for me; I only remember bits and pieces. Listening to Kevin's calming voice as he focused on keeping me relaxed while also coordinating the labor room. We were virtually alone the entire time until the midwife came in when I felt like I was ready to push. Kevin made sure that the atmosphere was relaxing and it was a wonderful bonding experience. Part of me wishes that I remembered more of it (maybe not). :)
36 hours of labor without pain medication was quite a wild ride and was so worth it in the end when we finally held our baby girl. We laughed and cried because there was nothing else we could do. What an amazing, primal experience to go through together. Such a feeling of pride and accomplishment looking at a beautiful human being that is now a member of our little family forever.
I kissed Kevin shortly after giving birth and said, "Ready to do this again and give our baby a sibling?"
Kevin looked at me with a mixture of shock and a new-found respect, "How soon?"
It was 5:30 a.m. in the morning on a Saturday and Kevin rushed to find me with a handful of towels.
We sat on the top of the steps in our old home, adrenaline pumping, assessing our next steps.
"Well sweetie, let's get back to sleep. We still could have some time before the contractions start and you need to conserve your energy," Kevin said, confidently.
Kevin and I took a 12-week course on the Bradley Birthing Method, also known as Husband-Coached Childbirth. In this class, we learned all about proper nutrition, anatomy, pregnancy, baby development, effective relaxation techniques, exercises to prepare the body for labor, labor positions, breastfeeding and post-natal care. The premise of the birthing method is the importance of a natural birth because it can be healthier for the baby, mother, and father and is one of the best ways to experience the process. We personally liked the method because it allows Kevin to be a crucial part of the birthing process and takes out the fear that so many people have about having a baby by providing extensive education and training.
"Anything yet?" Kevin asked around 8:30 a.m. as we slowly woke up again.
I turned over to look at him in the face, which is quite an accomplishment at 9 1/2 months pregnant.
"I'm actually having a contraction, now," I replied, as I closed my eyes and told my body to relax.
Kevin pulled out his stop watch and started timing the contraction. From the start of the first contraction to the beginning of the second. This went on for 6 hours until the contractions were 5 minutes apart. At this point, we called the midwives. We chose to have a midwife do the labor because of our dedication to the natural birthing process. At the free standing midwife center, they are Registered Nurses, but they are unable to administer pain medication.
We jumped in the car and went over to the center, one of the only free-standing birthing centers in Connecticut and only about 5 minutes from our house.
They looked at the positioning of the baby, her vitals, and checked to make sure how far along I was in the labor process. They recommended that I go home and come back when I was a bit further along.
When I was contracting at 3-4 minutes apart at home, we gave the midwives another call. One of my tests came back positive for an infection in my bladder and they were concerned about the baby since my water had broken early that morning. They recommended having us give birth at the hospital instead of the center. Kevin and I were disappointed that the birth wasn't going as we planned, but agreed that they know what is best for our little girl.
We rushed to the hospital around 6:00 p.m. and since it was going to take a little time to get us checked in, they put us in a waiting room. It was horrible! Gross lighting, old hospital beds, weird machines and crazy smells. I went into a panic attack. I always envisioned giving birth in a beautiful place, naturally, and this room was anything but that. Kevin calmed me down, but in the process of becoming upset, the labor slowed down significantly.
As we entered the birthing room, we were in awe. It was beautiful. There were floor to ceiling windows, a sunset, and a huge birthing tub. Kevin and I set up our things and got into the zone. We danced, squatted, and walked around in the shower to get things moving. During a contraction, we focused on relaxation. Kevin had a tennis ball that he used to massage my lower back (one of the areas in the most pain during contractions as the baby moves down the spine). 12 hours later, I was still only 4-5 minutes apart and because of the infection, the midwives suggested a small shot of a labor inducing drug to get the labor moving. We struggled a bit with the decision, but after 24 hours of being in labor, knew that they were right in their assessment of the situation, but refused the pain medication to keep with our original natural birthing plan.
"You can do this, you are doing an amazing job," Kevin said peacefully as I let out a high pitched groan. He rubbed my lower back as I held onto a bar in the shower. "Relax. Lower the pitch of your groan, as it will help your breathing. Picture your cervix opening like a flower (an inside joke from our birthing class). Let your body do what it was made to do. Like a wave taking you closer to the shore. Take the contractions one at a time. You got this."
The next 12 hours were a blur for me; I only remember bits and pieces. Listening to Kevin's calming voice as he focused on keeping me relaxed while also coordinating the labor room. We were virtually alone the entire time until the midwife came in when I felt like I was ready to push. Kevin made sure that the atmosphere was relaxing and it was a wonderful bonding experience. Part of me wishes that I remembered more of it (maybe not). :)
36 hours of labor without pain medication was quite a wild ride and was so worth it in the end when we finally held our baby girl. We laughed and cried because there was nothing else we could do. What an amazing, primal experience to go through together. Such a feeling of pride and accomplishment looking at a beautiful human being that is now a member of our little family forever.
I kissed Kevin shortly after giving birth and said, "Ready to do this again and give our baby a sibling?"
Kevin looked at me with a mixture of shock and a new-found respect, "How soon?"
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
When the only answer is to pray
This can be such a hurtful world. As I reflect upon the atrocities that have taken place the past couple months, I feel overwhelmed about my inability to control the world around me; a few acts of destruction and anger can overshadow so many good acts in this world.
A full week after my due date, I almost have the tendency to want to keep our sweet baby girl in my womb. To protect her forever in there. However, that is not God's plan for our lives.
God gives us a pathway for peace in this world, one that is paved by prayer. Prayer gives us a selfless and eternal perspective on life. It brings unity, comfort, hope, peace, wisdom. Unfortunately, there are those in this world that are disturbed and refuse to believe in hope. It breaks God's heart that they do not choose the peace that is ever available to them. He wants all of us to live the framework of our lives by love.
I strongly believe that God does not force people to choose love over hatred. A forced decision, is not a true one. He allows us to live life as more than just puppets in some game. It makes the active decision to do good, a far more powerful and meaningful one.
Those who choose selfishness, will always hurt those around them physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Prayer is something that keeps us from becoming selfish. Turning our eyes towards true love and away from anger and negativity. People that pray, communities that pray, are inspired by good and are given a desire to serve the world around them.
Prayer changes things. It changes mindsets which directly changes behaviors.
As a new mother, I need to keep in mind that my example will be one that will influence our girl's future decisions. If I choose to love and show love, she may be inspired to do the same. She is going to be her own person, with a unique personality. People and circumstances will find ways to bring her pain and I will not be able to control that. History shows that my own selfishness will also find a way to indirectly hurt her in some way and I can hardly bare that undeniable fact.
Literally, all I can do is pray.
Pray for wisdom that she makes the right decisions.
Pray for comfort when the world breaks her heart.
Pray for love when she could hate.
Pray for joy in the midst of sorrow.
Pray for peace in tumultuous times.
Pray for patience and self-control when she needs it the most.
Pray for kindness, goodness, faithfulness to fill her life.
God gives us the strength to get through things if we choose to keep our eyes on His great example. The best way that we can do that is to pray.
A full week after my due date, I almost have the tendency to want to keep our sweet baby girl in my womb. To protect her forever in there. However, that is not God's plan for our lives.
God gives us a pathway for peace in this world, one that is paved by prayer. Prayer gives us a selfless and eternal perspective on life. It brings unity, comfort, hope, peace, wisdom. Unfortunately, there are those in this world that are disturbed and refuse to believe in hope. It breaks God's heart that they do not choose the peace that is ever available to them. He wants all of us to live the framework of our lives by love.
I strongly believe that God does not force people to choose love over hatred. A forced decision, is not a true one. He allows us to live life as more than just puppets in some game. It makes the active decision to do good, a far more powerful and meaningful one.
Those who choose selfishness, will always hurt those around them physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Prayer is something that keeps us from becoming selfish. Turning our eyes towards true love and away from anger and negativity. People that pray, communities that pray, are inspired by good and are given a desire to serve the world around them.
Prayer changes things. It changes mindsets which directly changes behaviors.
As a new mother, I need to keep in mind that my example will be one that will influence our girl's future decisions. If I choose to love and show love, she may be inspired to do the same. She is going to be her own person, with a unique personality. People and circumstances will find ways to bring her pain and I will not be able to control that. History shows that my own selfishness will also find a way to indirectly hurt her in some way and I can hardly bare that undeniable fact.
Literally, all I can do is pray.
Pray for wisdom that she makes the right decisions.
Pray for comfort when the world breaks her heart.
Pray for love when she could hate.
Pray for joy in the midst of sorrow.
Pray for peace in tumultuous times.
Pray for patience and self-control when she needs it the most.
Pray for kindness, goodness, faithfulness to fill her life.
God gives us the strength to get through things if we choose to keep our eyes on His great example. The best way that we can do that is to pray.
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