Something that people keep telling me, since an hour after our sweet Lillian was born has been, "Enjoy it while you can! This stage goes by so fast. She'll be grown up before you know it." Now it is not the sentiment that bothers me, it is the implication and the consistent tone that people use when saying this on a regular basis (literally every day). A judgmental, negative, tone. Like they might as well be saying, "Kids grow up to be annoying human beings and I never appreciated the time I had with my kids as babies, so you probably won't either."
To me, being a parent only gets better with time. I'm not sure how it was for other moms, but in my experience and in the experience of my other friends, you are filled with a deep connection, but not necessarily filled with a rush of unconditional love the second your kid is born. It kind of feels like someone hands you someone else's kid and says, "Good luck!" Just like any other relationship, this one takes time to nurture and grow and everyday and every minute you love the child more and more. Just like, everyday you love your spouse more, because your relationship grows if you really want it to. But it takes hard work!
People will always look back on life and wish that they appreciated it in some ways more than others, but that is in every case, not just in the case of parenting. I will be nastalgic when she goes from stage to stage, but I don't need someone making me feel self-conscious about how I may or may not spend my time.
Every day, being a Mom gets better and better. Seeing her grow does not bring me sadness, it brings me great joy. When I pack away her small clothes, I feel a sense of pride in her development. Singing, laughing, cooing, rolling over, sitting up, talking, walking, having a conversation, these are all things that I'm so excited about.
I can not wait to continue to rediscover the world through her eyes and rediscover God through her progression as an independent thinking being.
So people, I think we should collectively choose to give encouragement to new moms whenever we can. Replace this common phrase with, "Enjoy this amazing stage that your child is in, but let me tell you, it just gets better and better."
Instead of saying, "Your child is getting so big," with a frown or a tear, say it with a smile.
Take out the negativity associated with time moving forward, and replace it with hope because that is what will inspire a new parent in the middle of the night when we are up for the 3rd time. That we have so many hard, but also so many great things ahead!
